10 (Im)Practical Uses for Crutches
1. To flush a public toilet
Toilets are gross. Why use your foot when you can use your crutch?
2. As a purse holder
No hook in the bathroom? Lean your crutch on the wall and hang your purse from it. Works like a charm!
3. To get the attention of a napper
Need something from the kitchen, but don’t want to get up? Use your crutch to poke your sleeping neighbor one couch over (you may want to use a different crutch from the one used for #1, unless the neighbor is an enemy).
4. To rock yourself in a chair
Why sit uncomfortably on the edge of your chair when you can sink into its awaiting arms and let your crutches do the work?
5. To get ahead in line
Nothing says “I can’t stand in line this long” like a pair of crutches. When I went to the movies last night with my boyfriend, Kevin, we were offered a better place in line.
6. For low-scale pole vaulting
This just sounds awesome.
7. To reach the chocolate milk
We keep the Nesquik® on the top shelf at my house; it’s a bitter shame.
8. For scooping
If for some reason you cannot (or simply do not want to) bend over, use your crutch to scoop things off the floor for you (i.e. shoes, your cat).
9. As a conversation starter
People are extremely curious. They will ask what happened to your leg and BOOM: new friends.
10. As giant chopsticks
In case you’re a giant wanting to eat Chinese food the right way.
Apply to Write for Uloop NewsJoin the Uloop News Team
Discuss This Article
More Uloop Humor Articles
Recent Ohio State News Articles
OHIO STATE Housing Listings
WRITE FOR ULOOPApply to Write for Uloop News
GET TOP STORIES DELIVERED WEEKLY
TOP 5 NEWS ARTICLES
BROWSE OTHER COLLEGES
- By CollegeOhio State UniversityCase Western Reserve UniversityUniversity of CincinnatiKent State UniversityMiami University - OxfordOhio UniversityUniversity of AkronBowling Green State UniversityCleveland State UniversityUniversity of ToledoWright State UniversityUniversity of DaytonYoungstown State UniversityColumbus State Community CollegeAntioch UniversityDenison UniversityDeVry ColumbusShawnee State UniversityOhio Wesleyan UniversityOhio Northern UniversityColumbus College of Art & DesignSinclair Community CollegeOtterbein CollegeUniversity of Northwestern OhioOberlin CollegeOwens Community CollegeAshland UniversityBaldwin-Wallace CollegeBluffton UniversityCapital UniversityCedarville UniversityCentral State UniversityCincinnati Christian UniversityCollege of Mount St. JosephEdison Community CollegeFranciscan University of SteubenvilleFranklin UniversityHeidelberg CollegeHiram CollegeJohn Carroll UniversityKent State University SalemKenyon CollegeLourdes CollegeMalone UniversityMarietta CollegeMiami University HamiltonMiami University MiddletownMount Union CollegeMount Vernon Nazarene UniversityMuskingum CollegeNotre Dame CollegeOhio Dominican UniversityOhio State University at LimaOhio State University at MansfieldOhio State University at MarionOhio State University-Newark CampusOhio University-ChillicotheOhio University-LancasterOhio University-SouthernOhio University-ZanesvilleThe College of WoosterThe University of FindlayTiffin UniversityUnion Institute & UniversityUniversity of Cincinnati-Raymond Walters CollegeUniversity of Rio GrandeUniversity of Toledo Health Science CampusUrbana UniversityUrsuline CollegeWalsh UniversityWilmington CollegeWittenberg UniversityXavier UniversityCincinnati State Technical and Community CollegeClark State Community CollegeHocking CollegeNortheastern Ohio Universities College of Medicine and PharmacyCuyahoga Community CollegeLakeland Community CollegeCuyahoga Community College-WestshoreEastern Gateway Community CollegeLorain County Community CollegeMarion Technical College North Central State CollegeNorthwest State Community CollegeRhodes State CollegeSouthern State Community CollegeTerra State Community College Washington State Community CollegeZane State College
- By State
- By City