10 Things Girls Will Never Tell Guys

By Victoria Robertson on March 21, 2015
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Girls are some of the world’s most mysterious creatures, and that’s exactly how we like it.

The more secrets we’re able to keep from you, the better. And honestly, most of them are a little necessary. Without them, you’d probably think we’re 10 times more insane than you already do, and that’s saying quite a bit.

So here they are guys, take them in while you can: the 10 things girls will never tell you.

1. We’re Constantly Overthinking Things.

It’s no secret that girls have ulterior motives for almost everything that they do, but I’m sure it’ll surprise most guys that we actually overthink every little thing that you (and we) do.

If we say something stupid on a date, we’ll relive that moment for weeks wondering why we’re so stupid and not blaming you for never calling us back. If you mistake our favorite candy for Sour Patch Kids when it really is Reese’s, we think you don’t care enough about us.

Yes, it’s crazy. No, we don’t care.

2. We’re Professional Stalkers.

Photo Via: http://ct.fra.bz

If you mention another girl’s name one time in a casual conversation with us, you best believe we’re stalking her on all social media sites and asking around to see who knows her and what she’s like.

I promise you that after just 30 minutes of crazy girl stalking, we’ll know more about this girl than you’ll ever even want to know.

3. We Think You’re Disgusting.

Guys, if you don’t know it by now, I’m sorry to be the one to break the news to you, but you absolutely repulse us. I mean seriously, that thing where you make the world’s most disgusting noise and spit: why?

So it shouldn’t be all that surprising that we hate most things about you: your nasty, calloused feet, the way you only wash your hands when someone else is around, that sad attempt at a mustache that you refuse to shave off.

It’s time to get it together guys, you’re killing us.

4. We Think You Should Pay.

Don’t get us wrong, we will pump fake every time the bill comes to the table. But if you ever let us pay, you’re in the wrong. You don’t need to understand it, just know that it’s true for all girls.

And yea, yea, we want equal rights blah, blah, blah. But chivalry isn’t dead, so man up and pay for our Caesar salad. Feminists or not, we’re going to reap the benefits of being women while we can.

5. Getting Hit On Is Actually Flattering.

I’m sure at one point or another you’ve heard a girl complain about that creep at the bar that just wouldn’t leave her alone. She may sound annoyed, but underneath that is this major ego boost that she secretly can’t get enough of.

We might roll our eyes when a guy shouts a catcall at us, or anytime we hear a whistle in our vicinity, but we’re loving every second of it.

6. We Spend A Lot Of Time (And Money) On Looks.

I’m telling you now, you can’t even fathom how much we’re willing to spend to look good. Just to give you a rough idea:

Hair: $100

Nails: $50

Makeup: $40

Tanning: $30

Waxing: $10

Gym Membership: $10

Clothes: Infinity

Of course, these numbers fluctuate depending on the girl, but the outcome is about the same: most of our money goes into looking good. Do we like spending this much money? Absolutely not. Do we do it anyway? We don’t even think twice.

7. We Are ALWAYS Jealous.

Don’t even ask. If you aren’t sure whether or not something is making us jealous, the answer is that it definitely is. We might act like we’re fine with you being best friends with a girl we think is prettier than us, but we aren’t. At all.

So realize this sooner than later, because I promise it’s turning into a fight somewhere down the road, and it’s one that you aren’t going to win.

8. We Want To Fight With You.

Speaking of fighting, here’s another little secret just for you: we love it. Not all the time, because that’s just miserable, but every once in a while we look forward to a good, heated argument.

Some days we’ll just wake up, turn over and look at you still asleep, and it’s go time. We won’t tell you why we’re mad (probably because we don’t know ourselves), but we are, and we’re about to pull out all the stops.

You went to a party without us three months ago? Get ready to rehash that argument, because you can bet all you own that we’re going to bring it back up.

And I’m sorry, but there isn’t anything you can do to stop it.

9. You’re Right.

The two words you’ll never hear us utter, even if they’re true. Just accept it now, and any married man will tell you the same: you are never right, even if you are.

Just know that we know it somewhere deep down, and be happy with that, because that’s all you’re going to get.

10. We Actually Do Fart.

Hah, as if we’d ever admit to it even if we did. I had you going there for a minute though, didn’t I?

So there you have it, the best kept secrets of the female mind. Hopefully this gives you a little understanding, although I’m sure you’re just more confused. But hey, that’s exactly how we want it.

It’s crazy, sure, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Victoria is a dedicated writer who graduated from the University of Illinois with a Bachelor of Arts in English. She currently writes freelance pieces for various sites and works in Marketing for Myndbee Inc., promoting their current mobile app, Picpal.

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