Why Do We Have to Wear Pants?

By Kathleen Martini on March 2, 2013

I hate pants.  I’ll come right out and say that.  I much prefer walking around my house in my underwear, and I’m not alone in that.  People everywhere agree that if an event requires you to put pants on and leave your dwelling, said event is not happening.

Imagine a world sans pants.  Every day, weather permitting, ladies and gentlemen everywhere would wear their shirts and ties on top and their flower-patterned undies on bottom.  Students in classrooms across America would take exams in their finest sweatshirts and boxer briefs.  Fashion designers would unleash fancy collections of boy shorts upon the world for every season.

Human beings are animals, right?  You don’t see tigers wearing pants.  You don’t see elephants wearing pants.  You don’t see koalas eating eucalyptus leaves while wearing pants.  It just doesn’t happen.

American culture instills in each of us a fear of the human body.  We’re afraid of the naked human form.  We’re uncomfortable in our own skin.  We don’t like what we look like without our clothes hiding us from ourselves.

Let’s look to the Bible.  After Adam and Eve ate the Forbidden Fruit, they became aware of their nakedness and were ashamed.  Before they experienced original sin, they were no more self-conscious of their privates than they were of their ears or their thumbs.

There is also something to be said about societal influences on body image and clothing choice.  It is impossible for people to compare themselves with the photoshopped images that mass media deem as the standards for beauty, but still we try.  Yes, I can erase my waist while still maintaining an hourglass figure.  Yes, I can cut my abs from rock and eliminate all fat from my body.

No, no you can’t.

While we’re at it, why do we have to wear makeup?  Think about it: you’re literally drawing on your face to make it look “better.”  How do you feel when you take the war paint off?

Why do we shave?  Why do we dye our hair?  Why is plastic surgery even a thing?  Why why why?

People are beautiful.  Every person, no matter their body shape, clothing style, hair color, or ethnicity, is the most beautiful thing in the world, and this world is pretty damn beautiful.  Every person has a dignity and wonder about them that is captivating, if only you take a second to realize it.

Take a minute out of every day and look at your naked self in the mirror.  See your own beauty.  Then go out into the world and look for the beauty in (probably not naked) others.  It’s there; you just have to see it.

By Kathleen Martini

Uloop Writer
New York born, Georgia raised, Texas built. I'm a Journalism major at Ohio State minoring in German, Theatre, and Media Production & Analysis. I row, ride horses, and do taekwondo, so be careful what you say about my articles. My dream is to write for the LA Times while pursuing a career in acting, and that's the projected game plan for after college.

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